How to FREAK OUT in 5 Easy Steps & Recover in 2

FREAK OUT

1.  Log into Facebook

2. See sister in law has uploaded photos from weekend

3. See you look like a she beast… for real.  She Fuckin’ Beast. 

4.  Call sister in law half crying and beg for deletion.

5. Log into sister in law’s account and remove post… (feel like total asshole but not enough to not do it)

RECOVERY

1. Sit for a minute and realize that you have indeed, put back on every last pound you have ever lost and then some… admit the last time you weighed this much you were pregnant… print photo out for incentive.

2. Text sister in law with million dollar weight loss idea:  SHAME, the Diet.